No Kill No Fee

And finally… killer app

A woman who allegedly tried to hire an assassin to kill her ex-husband through a transparently fake website called has been arrested.

The website, which tells visitors it is “no longer affiliated with the Donald J. Trump, CIA, SIS, Diners Club, the Illuminati and Rudolph Giuliani”, claims to be “100% compliant” with the made-up Hitman Information Privacy & Protection Act of 1964 (HIPPA).

However, 51-year-old Michigan woman Wendy Wein filled out the “service request form” on the website to request help with an undisclosed “issue”.

The request was passed on to undercover officers, who met Mrs Wein and say she offered them $5,000 to kill her ex-husband and paid a $200 deposit.

Mrs Wein was arrested and has been charged with solicitation to commit murder and illegal use of a computer to facilitate a crime, FOX 2 reports.

Brian Oleksyk of Michigan State Police said: “I can’t believe someone would think that a website like this exists.”